Book Reviews: Men Have Called Her Crazy by Anna Marie Tendler

I didn’t much know who Anna Marie Tendler was until she experienced a very public marriage breakup with a comedian I liked at the time. On the precipice of Scandoval, it seemed like we were in an era for holding men accountable for the shit they do. I think people expected to her to give some exclusive insight into her personal life with this book that clearly didn’t happen, and when that didn’t happen people took to disparaging it online. Going into this you should know that the book is triggering: it has explicit mentions of self-harm, ED, and maybe more annoying to some people a whole host of “first world problems” with very little nuance taken on the author’s part. Still- I didn’t hate it.

I think as long as anyone enters into this book with the perspective that victims are imperfect, and there is worth talking about one's struggles before they are "healed" then its an interesting enough edition to the zeitgeist of mental illness literature thats been around for decades. Girl Interrupted, Family Stone, Maniac, cut, impulse/crank/etc, I mean, I at least grew up reading these kind of triggering books of dramatic white middle class ennui; when Tendler says problematic shit I'm like yeah, she's in therapy for that? I think this might be a case where somebody gets cheated on and then their public persona becomes exalted to the point of no return, like the only direction to go is down?

I was also at The Other Art Fair when Tendler was there and her work was on the better side of a very mediocre overly expensive art fair. This book was not groundbreaking, it was not life changing, it was just one person's struggles and I think theres value in that. Also maybe since my expectations were on the ground, the writing was better than I expected as well? I empathize with a lot of her experiences, and always advocate for de-centering men from your life. 

Tendler goes through a laundry list of the terrible relationships she has experienced ( although willfully absent is the recent public one.) She views her life through the lens of these experiences and comes away with some conclusions that have left people feeling unsatisfied. I’m happy she has been doing better, but am also glad she acknowledges her mental health is still in progress. I recommend this book for anyone looking for a simply written, consumable autobiography centered around mental illness who are not easily triggered.